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This should help those that kite surf
#1
How to survive a shark attack

1: Don`t swim in the ocean.
Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans.
The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty.

2: Listen out for the music.
In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler Effect.

3: Swim with fat people.
Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions.
If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.

4: Don't go into the water without a knife.
This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy)closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely.....swim for your freekin' life.And finaly.....

5: Don't panic.
In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won`t help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out!

Remember it’s not always about you ..!
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#2
Big Grin especially at point 3
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#3
Some sound advice there! My brother thought he saw a shark yesterday off the coast of Broadstairs whilst we were kiting, i informed him it was most definitely a Dolphin.

Remember it is always a dolphin unless it actually bites you!
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#4
"Legless" Wrote:Some sound advice there! My brother thought he saw a shark yesterday off the coast of Broadstairs whilst we were kiting, i informed him it was most definitely a Dolphin.

Remember it is always a dolphin unless it actually bites you!

Big Grin Big Grin

You don't get Dolphins or Sharks kiting at Capstone. Bruises & aches only up there my friends... not that I've been recently... Thinks longingly about sad kites just sat in the boot of the car. Sad  I may take them to 24/12 incase we get bored between laps  ;D
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#5
"Laggingbehind" Wrote:Big Grin Big Grin

You don't get Dolphins or Sharks kiting at Capstone. Bruises & aches only up there my friends... not that I've been recently... Thinks longingly about sad kites just sat in the boot of the car. Sad  I may take them to 24/12 incase we get bored between laps  ;D

Ignoring all the obvious photoshopped images. Here's little Jimmy Krankie (Steve - Don't even bother asking)
resim
Keep it foolish...
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#6
Looks like a cracking week for riding but no wind for getting the kites out...  shame as i do love it but i get so knackered it can only muster about 40 mins actual flying during an hour and a half on the beach, is that poor....   i use handles and no harness?
Mei securis turpe meus vox<br />            
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#7
Kite surfing seems quite popular with MTB'ers, anyone else got a Kayak ?  That's my other toy.
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#8
No kayak but always want one.... trouble is time and money... i have to many things i like doin already..
Mei securis turpe meus vox<br />            
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#9
&quot;Mbnut&quot; Wrote:No kayak but always want one.... trouble is time and money... i have to many things i like doin already..

Took me forever to persuade the Mrs it was a good use of £500.  Now, on sunny calm days, she uses it, the kids come out with me in it, it's a family toy.  Plus when theres a bit of wind, I get to muck about in the waves  Smile  Not what you'd call "extreme", but it's fun, good way to unwind after a day at work.
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#10
Flying a kite with just the handles is tiring, so 40 minutes would probably do anyone in especially if it is windy. Get yourself some kitesurf lessons and you'll get to use a harness and then realise how easy it can be. It also makes it more dangerous as no longer can you just let go when it goes wrong...

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Still feel sick watching that one, bizzarely he got away with fairly minor injuries, was out of hospital in a couple of days too.
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